Textionary

=Contents:=

= Textionary: an abridged guide to txt-ing =
 * a - acre
 * asap - as soon as possible
 * b-day - birthday
 * bc - because
 * bk - book
 * bks - books
 * brb - be right back
 * btn - between
 * btw - by the way
 * c - see
 * c - cup (the measurement)
 * cm - centimeter
 * ctn - can't talk now
 * cya - see ya
 * cyl or cul - see you later
 * cys - see you soon
 * etc - et cetera (Latin for "and more")
 * every1 - everyone
 * ft - feet
 * gtg/g2g - got to go
 * hags - have a great summer
 * hats - have a terrific summer
 * hav - have
 * hbu - how about you
 * hr - hour
 * hrs - hours
 * hw - homework
 * idk - i don't know
 * ilu - i love you
 * ily - i love you
 * in - inch
 * jc - just chillin
 * jk - just kidding
 * jr - junior
 * k - okay
 * l8r g8r! - later gator (say goodbye)
 * l8r - later
 * lol - laugh out loud
 * luv - love
 * m - meter
 * min - minute
 * mins - minutes
 * msg - message
 * mth - month
 * mths - months
 * mym - miss you much
 * N/A or n/a - not applicable or not available
 * nm - nothing much
 * nvm - never mind
 * omg - oh my gosh
 * p, pg, or pgs - page or pages (the 1st 2 r singular or plural, the last is only plural)
 * ? - question or "huh?"
 * ?4u - question for you
 * r - are
 * rotfl - rolling on the floor laughing
 * sec - second or seconds, moment
 * some1 - someone
 * sux - sucks
 * sr - senior
 * sry - sorry
 * thx - thanks
 * ttfn - ta ta for now
 * tht - that
 * thts - that's
 * ttul - talk to you later
 * ttus - talk to you soon
 * ttyl - talk to you later
 * ttys - talk to you soon
 * txt - text
 * txtin - texting
 * u - you
 * ur - your
 * urs - yours
 * w/ - with, next word goes right after the slash: there's no space
 * w/o - without
 * w/in - within
 * wat - what
 * wats - what's
 * wats ^ - what's up
 * wk - week
 * wkend - weekend
 * wks - weeks
 * wrud - what are you doing?
 * y - why
 * yea - yeah
 * yd - yard
 * yr - year
 * yrs - years
 * yw - you're welcome
 * 2 - to, too, or two, depending on context
 * 4 - four or for, depending on context
 * <3 - heart or love
 * :-) - happy face
 * :-( - sad face
 * ;-) - winking face
 * :-l - half smile face
 * :-P or :-b - tired or I-stick-my-tongue-out-at-you face
 * :-X - scared....(could also mean) tired, lazy, "not in the mood," or "my lips are sealed"
 * :-o - surprised, startled, or I-finally-understand face
 * XO - exhausted, boring, or terrible face
 * :-S - confused, unsure, or upset face

Ex. txt: yw. ill b @ ur home in 2 hrs w/it. cys. Translation: Example text: You're welcome. I'll be at your house in two hours with it. See you soon.

-> PLEASE keep in mind that the actions in "*" are often not serious. Suggestion: only use these w/friends who know u extremely well.
 * Txting/IMing advice :**
 * 1) NEVER use capital letters, they waste time. EXCEPTION: when wanting to add emphasis.
 * 2) ALWAYS use the shortest way of saying things. That means using contractions, often w/o apostrophes.
 * 3) add asterisks (these things -> * ) around actions to add interest. Ex: *smiles @ the last piece of advice* or *silent scream*

Improved Dictionary: the REAL (?) meanings of words and phrases :

 * __paradox__ - a pair of doctors, ex. when your doctor meets your dentist.
 * __conflict of interest__ - when your dentist meets the Tooth Faerie, one wants to keep your teeth in your mouth, one wants to take them.

Fun Oxy-morons

 * jumbo shrimp
 * small giant
 * nice bully
 * sour sugar
 * chunky cream
 * military intelligence
 * BFG (Big Friendly Giant)
 * friendly fire
 * loose tights
 * sweet nothingness
 * cruel kindness
 * deafening silence
 * happy accident

Idiotic Idioms

 * butterflies in the stomach - being nervous about something
 * every cloud has a silver lining - everything has a good side
 * feather in your cap - something that adds to your status
 * hitch your wagon to a shooting star - to aim high; to follow a great ambition
 * live in hope - to hope that something you want to occur will occur in the future
 * mad as a hatter - someone who is crazy is "as mad as a hatter"
 * pot calling the kettle black - when someone accuses another of having a fault that he or she also has
 * rock the boat - causing problems, usually used as a warning; Ex. "Kira's testy today, so __don't rock the boat__."

=**What's an oxymoron? A phrase, usually of 2 words, that contradicts itself. Still confused? dictionary.reference.com is a quick way to find out.**=